The Italian job

It's difficult to be vegan at Donatella's in Rancho Mirage. It's not impossible, but it's not easy either.

Tonight was my second visit to the restaurant, which has a cult-like following for the authentic Italian fare.

During those visits I have learned:

1. All the pasta is homemade with eggs.
2. Ditto the gnocchi.
3. Ninety-nine percent of the menu includes one or more of the following: Meat, seafood, cheese.

The people at Donatella's make good food, and they're nice as can be. It's just difficult to get your point across. If you say you don't eat meat, the server suggests something with cheese. If you say you don't eat cheese, they suggest something with meat. And if you (again) say you don't eat meat, they recommend the fish.

In short, they simply don't understand vegan.

Last time I ordered the grilled veggie platter. It arrived with half the plate covered in what appeared to be a mountain of poached egg whites, (which turned out to be cheese). And that massive white lump was covered with layers of prosciutto.

This time around, I had to really stress that I only wanted vegetables on the grilled veggie platter. My table ended up with a decent plate of four eggplant slices, four zucchini slices, four tomato slices and one long hunk of roasted red pepper.

I also ordered a risotto that the owner assured me was dairy-free -- but I'm simply not 100 percent confident about anything I order at this place.

I might return just for the wine, which is imported from Verona and is excellent.

Typical lunch

Because my sister asked, "What DO you eat, anyway?"



A typical lunch is something like this. Here I was trying out some faux chicken bites from Nate's. (They're good, but they actually taste a little too close to the real thing, so I probably won't buy them again.)

That's served with a mustard dipping sauce, also sauteed garlic and kohlrabi greens, and a simple salad of cucumber, tomato and red onion.

Snausage balls

I'm still undecided about these snausage balls.

I made them as party food for Jason's birthday. I don't even know why I decided to go for these, because I wasn't much of a sausage fan even when I was omni. I guess they just sounded like retro and fun party fare, like something you'd put out next to the mini franks and the cheese ball.

I whipped up a batch as a test run the night before the party.

"So what do you think?" I asked Jason as he gnawed on one of the soft, bready balls.

"I don't know."

"Are they terrible?"

"I don't know."

"Well, do you like them?"

"I don't know."

I was frustrated by his ambivalence, so I tried one for myself.

Hmmm. It was the exact same experience for me, too. They're not good. And they're not bad. They're just there. They should probably be called Apathy Balls.

Anyway, I didn't end up putting them out for the party. I was too afraid people would hate it and it would put them off vegan food forever.

So it's just been me -- eating balls all week. (Ahem. No jokes, please.)

The recipe came from Freckle Foot, a poster on the Post Punk Kitchen forums.

Try them and let me know what you think.

Veganized Sausage Balls

14-oz pkg Gimme Lean Sausage
2.5 C shredded Follow Your Heart Cheddar
3 C Bisquick dry mix
1 large pinch sage leaves
1 to 2 large pinches fennel seeds
2 large pinches crushed red pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
2 TB extra-virgin olive oil
2 small cloves grated or very finely minced garlic (I use a Microplane zester)
1/2 to 1 C nutritional yeast flakes (optional, but EXTREMELY recommended)

Preheat oven to 350. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper, or spray with nonstick spray.

Mix all ingredients together by hand, until everything is well-incorporated. Form into balls (my mix made about 3 dozen) and place on sheets about a half to one inch apart. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes, until bottoms are browned, and tops are beginning to brown. Best served warm.


Dipping sauce:

1/3 C vegan mayo
2 TB dijon mustard
1/2 Tb paprika
1 tsp chili powder

Mix together.

Roasted veggies

Awww, yeah. Stereotypical vegan dinner, represent:



Leftovers will be had with brown rice.

Almost-sick soup

When I was little, my mother always fed me Campbell's Chicken & Stars soup when I was feeling sick or sad, so it's no surprise that I associate that can of food with love and comfort.


Today, I've been hot and flushed and am starting to get that vice-like pressure inside my head, so I know I'm about THIS close to getting sick. Of course, all I wanted was to curl up under blankets on the couch and sip on some Chicken and Stars.

But since chicken has yet to become a vegetable, that stuff is not vegan.

I needed a new plan.

I whipped up the only recipe that sounded appealing in my feverish state, the Chickpea Noodle Soup from Veganomicon. The broth is made salty and creamy from miso, and the chickpeas make it hearty and filling. I also tossed in some chard for extra vitamins.

Oh, and instead of the soba noodles I tossed in a couple handfuls of pasta stars.

Stars have more healing properties. Three out of four doctors agree.

Awww. Itty-bitty cupcakes

Over the weekend I whipped up a batch of tiny chai cupcakes using this recipe from The Post Punk Kitchen. (Recipe also in "Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World.")



There's no good reason why I made them mini. Only that miniature things are adorable.

Also, the recipe makes 12 regular-sized cupcakes, but when you make them mini you get 24. This is simple math, people.

Secretly I like to pretend that they are actually full-sized cakes, and I am Godzilla.

I've made these a few times before, and it seems to be a solid, reliable recipe. No matter what kind of crappy chai tea I use or how drastically I mis-measure the spices, the cupcakes somehow always turn out great. They're Maggie-proof.

This time around I substituted raspberry soy yogurt for the vanilla soy, (since the bastards at Trader Joes were out of vanilla) -- but I actually think the raspberry improved the flavor. They were so good, in fact, that my friends wrapped them up in napkins and took some to go.

It's always a good sign when your friends steal your food. I think.

'Lost' cake

We had a party for Jason's birthday, an occasion that called for a spectacular cake.

Except I don't really know where I could get vegan baked goods around here. So even though I'm not the most proficient baker, I figured I would give it a try myself.

For the cake, I doubled the basic chocolate cupcake recipe from "Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World." The icing is the basic buttercream, also from VCTOTW. And because Jason is a fan of the TV show "Lost," I went with a plane crash/stranded on island theme.

Here's how the full cake turned out.



I know I left out some of the characters, but you get the idea.



To give the ocean waves varying shades of blue, I used food color spraypaint. I did not even know such a thing existed until two days ago.



And here's what the whole thing looked like with blue stripey candles. Apparently they crashed in the ocean too.



Overall, I think it went over very well. Almost everybody at the party said something like, "I can't believe it's vegan!" or "You can't even tell it's vegan!"

I'm not sure what they were expecting -- twigs and tofu maybe? -- but I'm happy they liked it.